What about Forgiveness? It seems to be the one question asked over and over: “How could you forgive Bryan for what he has done?” This almost always makes me smile. No really, it makes me smile. Why? Because I did not invent forgiveness. I am not even all that good at it. But if we dissect my ability to give forgiveness, then honestly, it is not what I have done, but what God has done.
Shortly, into my battle to save my marriage, my husband, my family: I saw several people write about forgiveness in many different situations. In each of these situations, the outcome was always the same. The person doing the forgiving always suffered far more than the person needing to be given forgiveness. As many have pointed out, “isn’t that exactly what Christ did when he suffered on the cross and died for our sins?” Yes, it is! Again, I am not saying that I am capable of that kind of forgiveness, at least not without Christ fully leading the way. But God in his grace can lead us to offer forgiveness if we could but get our hearts and brains out of the way. And friends and family, but that story is for another day.
Let me point out that by offering forgiveness, I in no way have said that what Bryan has done is okay! It absolutely is not and never will be an acceptable way to treat any person, no matter if you love or even hate them. Let me stress that as I have stated before I have never experienced as much pain as my husband’s affair and each subsequent betrayal was as painful if not more painful. So choosing to forgive and following what I believed and still believe was God’s plan has never been the easy path. It is simply the RIGHT path!